Merry Christmas

I love Christmas.  I know it's not all about the presents and Santa.  I know the real reason for the celebration is the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus.  I also know that for our family it is a very special time.  We have such a great time when together.  We are so close and that makes me very happy.

Robert Louis Stevenson said, "You can give without loving, but you can't love without giving."  I love to give!  I am not a good gift receiver.  I don't feel like anyone should spend their hard earned money on me. I realize I am a very difficult person to shop for.  I never ask for anything because I truly have all that I need.  So I generally get the obligatory socks, maybe a tie, a sweater or usually a book or two.  And I love that even though I am very stoic when opening presents.  Rarely do I show any emotion, not sure why.  But I have more fun seeing the eyes of others when they open their gifts.  I really enjoyed watching our kids when they were little getting what they wanted from "Santa," it was great!  But our "kids" are grown and that magic look rarely is shown any longer.  Until this year..

Yes, that is an almost 19 year old boy kissing a Christmas present.  I swear there was a tear in his eye when he opened it.  I have to admit there was one in mine as well.  There is just something about seeing your child happy and you having something to do with it. Tucker has never been one to ask for much and he didn't ask for this, but Tina and I knew he wanted one.  This will have to be a Christmas/birthday present, but I get the feeling he doesn't care.  As I type he is setting up his new world of gaming and I am reflecting and quite honestly feeling the same level of sadness right now as the elation from an hour ago.  Why?

That little naked butted baby would have been 7 years old for this Christmas.  A very magical age for a young boy at Christmas time.  I am sure if he were still with us he would be jumping up and down with some new toy waiting for his bubby to hook up the Xbox One.  Then they would probably argue a bit over who gets to play the first game of FIFA 14.  Oh, how I wish I could hear that argument and be the referee.  But God chose for that not to be the case.  And so our family is not quite complete for Christmas here on earth, but someday we will be complete again in Heaven, of that I have no doubt.

My tears on this Christmas Eve are tears of selfishness.  I realize this.  I know where Titus Levi is and I wouldn't bring him back if I could.  It is simply the memories that I feel I will lose out on that sometimes gets to me.  While I was shedding a tear earlier tonight of happiness when I saw Tucker's face as the wrapping paper his mother carefully placed on the gift revealed the surprise and gratitude on his face.  I now shed a selfish tear wishing Titus was running around here making a mess and eating peanut butter balls all the while knowing he is in the presence of our Creator in a perfect environment glorifying our God.

Friends, may you have a wonderful Christmas.  Celebrate with family and loved ones.  Honor our Lord with the true meaning.  But take a moment to treasure the memories you are making now.  And remember those who may not have the opportunity to make special memories again with a prayer of comfort and peace.

God bless you.  Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

Good For You Phil!!!

I admire people who stand up for what they believe in and do so with conviction.  I admire people who take the Bible as the inspired Word of God and see it as their "Rule Book" for life if you will.  I don't care much for people who like to say, "Well, that's not what the writer meant," or "the Bible is no longer relevant." I also have problems with "preachers" who do try to tell me and others what God really means today.  


Phil Robertson was placed “under hiatus from filming indefinitely” A&E said in a statement Wednesday. “His personal views in no way reflect those of A+E Networks, who have always been strong supports and champions of the LGBT community,” the statement said.

What did he say?

“We never, ever judge someone on who’s going to heaven, hell. That’s the Almighty’s job,” he said, adding, “We just love ’em, give ’em the good news about Jesus—whether they’re homosexuals, drunks, terrorists. We let God sort ’em out later, you see what I’m saying?”

He went on to call being gay illogical.  What is so wrong with this?  To those of us who feel homosexuality is a sin, nothing.  But to the liberal media he might as well have said any of those few words you aren't allowed to say on television.  But he didn't say them on TV, he said them to a reporter for GQ magazine.  

So what did he really say?  He didn't say homosexuals were going to hell.  He didn't condemn them.  He said exactly what I believe, we love them.  We love them and tell them about Jesus.  It is not my job to judge anyone.  As a minister I am called to tell others about the love of Jesus Christ.  Does Jesus love the homosexual?  Yes, He does!  Does He love the drunk?  Yes, He does!  Does He love the terrorist?  YES, He does! My responsibility in this world is to live my life in such a way to please my Creator!  In doing so, I also have the responsibility to show others what God said about living that life.  Is that being intolerant?  By no means!  That is an act of love.  

Suppose you were driving down the road to behind a car in a terrible rain storm?  You see a power line down on the road in front of you.  The person in the car in front of you stops, gets out of the car and walks up to the power line to pick it up and move it out of the road.  What do you do??  Sit there and let them pick it?  Are you afraid if you tell them that the power surging through that line could cause them bodily harm because you might offend them?  Do you let them just go pick it up because perhaps they have adopted this alternate lifestyle in which electricity doesn't affect them like other people?  Of course you wouldn't stand by and do nothing!  You would get out of your car and tell them the consequences of grabbing a live power line!  Yet Christians are supposed to sit by and say nothing when someone is living a destructive life style that has potential to have eternal consequences?  If we say something we are intolerant?  

I don't condemn people.  I love them.  And I love all people enough to call a sin just that, a sin.  Call me intolerant if you wish.  That is your choice.  I just wonder if someone on any of the other myriad of "reality shows" had said something perceived as intolerant about a Christian, that someone would be placed “under hiatus from filming indefinitely”?  I kinda doubt it.

As I close I applaud Mr Robertson for his convictions.  For standing up for what he believes in.  I certainly wish other "pastors" would do so when given the chance.  Recently one mainstream pastor offered this in a book:

“It doesn’t matter who likes you or doesn’t like you, all that matters is that God likes you. He accepts you, he approves of you.” ~Joel Osteen  He went on to say when asked if this included gay folks. “Absolutely.”  Does God love them?  Yes!  Does he approve?  I don't believe He does.  Osteen had the perfect platform to stand up for what he believed in, but kowtowed to public pressure. In the past, Osteen at the very least claimed homosexuality was unacceptable. He told  Fox News’ Chris Wallace in 2012, “I believe that Scripture says that being gay is a sin, but every time I say that, Chris, I get people saying, ‘You’re a gay hater.’”  So now, in 2013 he is back pedaling.  If being gay is a sin, how does God accept them?  Love?  YES!  Accept? 


Good for you Phil Robertson!  I have a feeling that A&E needs the Robertsons MUCH more than the Robertsons need A&E.  

God Bless! 

It's OK to Cry

It started out as a normal evening tonight.  I had worked all day, went to see my Pudd for a few minutes and then home real quick before my game at East Carter.  Really a very typical day for this time of year for me.  As I got home, Tina was looking for a CD with some pictures of Titus.  I'm not exactly sure why, but I helped her find some pictures and then scan some more.  I wasn't really in a hurry, but I didn't have a great deal of time to take in what was happening.  Just before I left, this picture caught my eye.

This was the first picture I took of my little guy.  Momma kissing his head like any new mother would.  But knowing he wouldn't be with us very long.  As I drove from our house to East Carter High School, which is only a few miles, I began to cry.  Why?  Well, I miss Titus Levi.  He would be 7 if he were still with us.  What a wonderful Christmas this would be for him!!  As I approached the high school, I was crying pretty hard.  So I drove past it.  Pulled over down the road and pulled out my wallet.  In my wallet is my favorite picture of Titus.

I carry this picture with me everywhere I go.  I am not sure why it is my favorite.  You can't see his precious little face.  But one evening late in his 30 day life, he and I were having our time together after our shower.  I had dried him off and put on his clothes and he reached over and grabbed my hand.  I grabbed my camera and snapped this photo.  I still to this day don't know why this picture touches me, but it does.  As I sit and looked at this picture, I cried harder and harder.  Then other images entered my mind.

I kept telling myself, "Stop crying you big baby!!  You've got a job to do!"  I was raised that men don't cry!  We hide our emotions.  I've never been able to do that!  I wear my emotions on my sleeve.  But I was going to "work" at the game.  I can't walk in there crying!

Then it hit me.  It's OK to cry!  It is a natural emotion.  An emotion God created me with.  I don't have any idea if God has cried.  But I know He is been hurt.  When His Son left Heaven for the first time ever to come to Earth, I am sure he was saddened.  He and Jesus had NEVER been apart, EVER.    I am sure when Jesus was beaten , mocked and ultimately killed, I am sure God was hurt.  I personally feel that is why everything went dark when Jesus died.  And I am sure when I don't trust Him enough, or do what I am called to do, or do other things I know I shouldn't do, I hurt my Creator.  I don't know if He cries, but He has a right to for sure.

So I guess what I want to say is this:  It really is OK to cry.  Holding back tears bottles up emotions.  It is unhealthy both physically and mentally.  As I arrived at the game tonight, I was comforted by the fact that my son, Titus Levi Carper, is in heaven.  And I made him a promise that I would be with him some day.  As David said when his baby boy died, "He can never come back to me, but I can go to him."  That I will do and soon!

God bless you all and don't be afraid to cry!  It's OK

Storms

Why did this happen to me??!!

Ever uttered (or screamed) those words? Sure you have!!! All of us have experienced those times in our lives when bad things happen. I call them "life storms" and they hit us all. Sometimes with just a few showers and sometimes with full force wind, lightning, hail, thunder, the works!

I used to wonder why as have all of us. I mean, why would God allow such a thing to happen to such a great person as me!!!???? Am I right???

The truth is, I am not a great person. I am a work in progress. I need to grow (not physically). And in order for me to grow, I need to be tested. I need the storms. The storms allow me to more fully rely on God and brings me into the spiritual maturity He desires for my life!!

As I ponder on this situation, 2 passages of scripture come to mind:

James 1:2 Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. (NLT)

and


Hebrews 13: 5b .....be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you;    never will I forsake you.” (NIV)

While thinking about all of this, I realized the following:

God never promised to take the storms away, but He did promise to ride through them with you!

When these storms hit us, God is there. No matter how severe, He is there. We can ride out any storm life throws our way with the knowledge that our Creator is riding the same storm with us! Not wanting anything to harm us, but now that in the end, we will be mature, complete. What an awesome promise!!






The next time a "life storm" comes your way, reach out your hand and let God guide you through it. This might take many forms. Perhaps it is alone time with just you and God. Perhaps God will choose to send a friend to ride the storm with you as well. Maybe God wants you to rely on your church family who loves you and cares about you. However God chooses to help you through the storm, his promise to never leave or forsake is an amazing display of His desire to have an intimate relationship with YOU!

I close with the words of an awesome hymn, it tells us exactly what God wants to hear from us during our life storms.

In the dark of the midnight have I oft hid my face,
While the storm howls above me, and there's no hiding place.
'Mid the crash of the thunder, Precious Lord, hear my cry,
Keep me safe till the storm passes by.

Till the storm passes over, till the thunder sounds no more,
Till the clouds roll forever from the sky;
Hold me fast, let me stand in the hollow of Thy hand,
Keep me safe till the storm passes by.

When the long night has ended and the storms come no more,
Let me stand in Thy presence on the bright peaceful shore;
In that land where the tempest, never comes, Lord, may I
Dwell with Thee when the storm passes by.

Till the storm passes over, till the thunder sounds no more,
Till the clouds roll forever from the sky;
Hold me fast, let me stand in the hollow of Thy hand,
Keep me safe till the storm passes by.

God bless you and keep you safe, til the storm passes by!

Happy Birthday Wifey

Well, today is the birthday of my best friend and wifey.  I won't dare tell you how old she is but I will tell you how much I love her.  I love this woman more than life itself.  We have been married for 25 years.  I honestly can't remember life before her.  It was an empty life, void of color and music.  Kenny Rogers sang a song years ago that said.

All my life was a paper once plain, pure and white
Till you moved with your pen changin' moods now and then
Till the balance was right
Then you added some music, ev'ry note was in place
And anybody could see all the changes in me by the look on my face
Like a rhyme with no reason in an unfinished song
There was no harmony life meant nothin' to me, until you came along
And you brought out the colors, what a gentle surprise
Now I'm able to see all the things life can be shinin' soft in your eyes
And you decorated my life, created a world where dreams are a apart
And you decorated my life by paintin' your love all over my heart
You decorated my life

I wish I had written that.  It pretty much sums up what Tina did to my life.  She decorated it beautifully.

We have had our ups and downs like any married couple.  We have joy and heartache, gain and loss, laughter and tears, but I would do it all over again as long as my partner was with me.  I have said many times when I have had the honor of speaking about our son Titus.  My wife is my hero.  She carried Titus for 4 months knowing his fate should God choose not to intervene.  And she did so with grace and faith that only comes from a Godly woman.  I will forever admire her for that.

I guess I am feeling a little "old school" country music tonight.  Because I am also reminded of an old Ronnie Milsap song that says:

What a difference you've made in my life 
What a difference you've made in my life 
You're my sunshine day and night
Oh, what a difference you've made in my life
What a change you have made in my heart
What a change you have made in my heart
You replaced all the broken parts
Oh, what a change you have made in my heart
Love to me was just a word in a song that had been way overused
But now I've joined in the singin'
'Cause you've shown me love's true meanin'
That's why I want to spread the news
What a difference you've made in my life

There's an old Middle English word that is a derivative from the Latin word matrona, it is matron.  The matron of a family is one who is dignified and mature.  My wife is THE matron of our family both dignified and mature.  And what a family she has raised!

I love this woman.  She deserves much more than what I can give her for her birthday.  Much more than the words I have written here, but I want everyone to know how awesome she truly is.  I might as well close with another old country song from one of my favorites, Randy Travis:

They say time takes it's toll on a body 
Makes a young girl's brown hair turn gray 
Well, honey, I don't care 
I ain't in love with your hair 
And if it all fell out 
Well I'd love you anyway 

They say time can play tricks on a memory 
Make people forget things they knew 
Well, it's easy to see 
It's happening to me 
I've already forgotten every woman but you 
Oh darling 

I'm gonna love you forever 
Forever and ever, amen 
As long as old men sit and talk about the weather 
As long as old women sit and talk about old men 
If you wonder how long I'll be faithful 
Just listen to how this song ends 
I'm gonna love you 
Forever and ever 
Forever and ever, amen 

I love you wifey!!!!!

Is There School Tomorrow in Carter ...Oh Wait...

As I sit here on the couch I noticed it was snowing outside.  I went to look at the yard and sure enough, it's starting to stick.  Then I found myself heading to wgohwugo.com to see if there was school tomorrow in Carter Co.  That's when it hit me.  That doesn't affect me or my kids any longer (for the first time in several years).  I felt silly, kind of like we all will on January 15, 2014 and we are still writing 2013 on our checks (checks?  What are checks? some of you are asking).

Then I started thinking about yesterday.  It was an absolutely awesome day for many reasons.  First and foremost I got to spend the entire day with my son, Tucker.  We have so much fun together.  I know these days are numbered.  There will come a time when "Pops" (yes, he calls me Pops) will not be a priority (unless I have UK or Reds tickets).  But I did have UK tickets.  But it was more than our passion for the Cats that made the day fun, we just talked, hung out, chilled (whatever the youngsters are using these days for being together).  We WANTED to be in each others company.  Tucker even suggested we mark the day with a Father/Son photo.  His suggestion, I was a little taken back, I can't remember Tucker ever saying, "Pops, let's take a picture."  So he handed his brand new iPhone 5s to a complete stranger behind us (he was wearing a UK sweater so we trusted him) and here is the result:

Not a bad pic!  That is his new UK pullover we bought before the game.  I am still wearing my "old school" pullover (although Tucker picked a new out for me to buy so he could give it to me for Christmas).

Without question the highlight of the day was just spending time with my son.  A true father/son day at the Cathedral of College Basketball and the Cats won.

Another awesome aspect of the day was getting to talk to a dear friend of mine.  One of the finest gentlemen on the earth.  Mr. Bobby Flynn.  Mr Flynn and I have known each other for several years.  He works the media tables at UK games but also at the Boys Sweet 16.  I love it when I have a game off and Mr Flynn is setting at the end of media row.  I will spend an entire game just sitting and talking to him.  He has been around sports for many years and still keeps clock for 2 Lexington high schools, he's officiated, he works at the Legends games and at Keeneland.  The guy is a walking history book when it comes to Kentucky sports.  I saw him before the game and caught his attention, he motioned me to come down the floor and we caught up on things. He greeted me with  "How'd you get out of Grayson Tim?  No ballgames going on tonight?"  We talked for about 10 minutes or so.  I returned to my seat and talked to Tucker.  

Then it hit me.  There were people all over Rupp Arena taking pictures of the players, trying to get their faces in a picture with WCS in the back ground or the big UK at center court.  Pictures that will mean something to all of them.  The picture above of me and my son is one I will long treasure as a reminder of our day.  People want their picture taken with Cal or the Harrison twins or MR Randle.  But I wonder how many people have asked Mr Flynn to take a picture with them?  He is there every home game.  He's forgotten more about sports than I will ever know.  I looked at Tucker and said, "I wish I had you take a picture of me and Bobby.  I've known him for years and I would like to have a pic of him before one of us is gone."  Almost on cue, I looked down and there was Mr Flynn.  I hollered at him and he came over, I said, "Mr Flynn, will you let my son take a picture of me and you?"  "Why would you want that Timmy?"

"I just think it would be nice to have."  

"Well, smile big and get close"

Here is the result, a picture I will treasure for a lifetime.

He seemed almost addled at the thought that someone would want a picture of him.  As he went back to work and I went back to my seat he shook my hand and said, "Tim, you made an old man feel important tonight."

"You are important to me Mr Flynn, very important!"

I guess as I grow older, I realize how important others are to me.  I also realize how celebrated youth is in our society.  Almost glorified.  We do a lot of silly things to try to stay young.  We also tend to dismiss those with gray in their hair and diminished spring in their step.  I wouldn't trade times spent with Mr Flynn for anything.  He is one amazing gentleman.

Two challenges this evening:

1.  Treasure the times you get to spend with your kids.  As they get older, those times become fewer and fewer.

2.  Take time to talk to and LISTEN to those senior citizens in your life.  You'll be glad you did.

God bless and Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Don't Blink

I heard the splashing but wasn’t sure what was going on.  I had put Tori in the bath tub and was making us lunch, but the splashing was getting louder.  As I was making my way to the bathroom, I could hear my 4 year old saying something, I just wasn’t sure what it was.  When I entered the bathroom I saw about 20 naked Barbies lined up along the rim of the tub.  I watched as Tori was grabbing each one and dunking them under the water.

“What are you doing Pudd?”  

“Baptizing Barbie for the remission of sins!”

I couldn’t help but laugh.

The fall sky was so blue.  The lake was cold but wonderfully reflected the beauty of the sky.  The bread was almost gone but the ducks seemed to be still hungry.  Tucker, my 5 year old son at the time, was having a blast seeing how far he could make a duck swim for a piece of bread.  Then came the noise.  HONK!  HONK!  HONK!  A quick glance above and there were the geese.  It was time for their annual migration south, much like the senior saints from church.  I glanced over at Tucker to see what his reaction might be to the noise and beautiful V pattern of the guess.  Their unison wing flapping as they moved almost effortlessly across the fall sky.  

“What do you think about that Tuck-man?”

“Pretty cool.  Do they know any other letters?”

FAST forward…..

That seemed like yesterday.  Both events.  Although they were a few years apart themselves and more than 15 years or so ago.  In between?  Dance recitals, football games, tee ball, vacations, church camp, cheerleading, basketball, first boyfriend, first girlfriend, dances, Homecoming, Prom, science fair projects, A Series of Unfortunate Events, Captain Underpants, VBS, tears, laughter, “the Talk”, boo boos, Honey Boo Boo, movies, Reds Games, road trips, picnics, Lupus, Titus, life, death, hugs, kisses…….a blur!!

Today, I have a son in law and a college student.  Gone are the Barbies and the duck feedings.  Gone are the diaper changes, shoe tying, cutting up meat, rocking to sleep, wiping noses, tap shoes and cleats.  Where did the time go?  It marches on.  We all have 7 days in a week.  24 hours in a day.  We can’t stop the clock from ticking.  There are no time outs in life to delay the game.  The clock never stops.  

Don’t blink.  Enjoy every hour of every day.  It is a gift from God.  Time?  It moves on.  What is a half second?  Ask the silver medalist in the 100 yard dash.  What’s a minute?  Ask the guy who missed the plane.  What’s an hour?  Ask the parent waiting for a child to come home from a date.  What is a month?  Ask me and my wife, who only had a month with our son Titus.  

Don't blink!  But have fun!  Don't be a fuddy duddy.  Too often we take life way to seriously! It’s OK to have fun. Life has enough struggles along the way, don’t make it worse by forgetting what matters. Laugh, smile, giggle, be goofy once in a while. It won’t kill you and it might just be contagious!

Don’t blink.  Treasure your time.  Share it with others.  Don’t be selfish.  You blink, and they are gone.  Not forever, they are coming back and bringing more with them!  I can’t wait for grand babies!  And you can bet with them, I won’t blink.

God bless you!