Merry Christmas

I love Christmas.  I know it's not all about the presents and Santa.  I know the real reason for the celebration is the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus.  I also know that for our family it is a very special time.  We have such a great time when together.  We are so close and that makes me very happy.

Robert Louis Stevenson said, "You can give without loving, but you can't love without giving."  I love to give!  I am not a good gift receiver.  I don't feel like anyone should spend their hard earned money on me. I realize I am a very difficult person to shop for.  I never ask for anything because I truly have all that I need.  So I generally get the obligatory socks, maybe a tie, a sweater or usually a book or two.  And I love that even though I am very stoic when opening presents.  Rarely do I show any emotion, not sure why.  But I have more fun seeing the eyes of others when they open their gifts.  I really enjoyed watching our kids when they were little getting what they wanted from "Santa," it was great!  But our "kids" are grown and that magic look rarely is shown any longer.  Until this year..

Yes, that is an almost 19 year old boy kissing a Christmas present.  I swear there was a tear in his eye when he opened it.  I have to admit there was one in mine as well.  There is just something about seeing your child happy and you having something to do with it. Tucker has never been one to ask for much and he didn't ask for this, but Tina and I knew he wanted one.  This will have to be a Christmas/birthday present, but I get the feeling he doesn't care.  As I type he is setting up his new world of gaming and I am reflecting and quite honestly feeling the same level of sadness right now as the elation from an hour ago.  Why?

That little naked butted baby would have been 7 years old for this Christmas.  A very magical age for a young boy at Christmas time.  I am sure if he were still with us he would be jumping up and down with some new toy waiting for his bubby to hook up the Xbox One.  Then they would probably argue a bit over who gets to play the first game of FIFA 14.  Oh, how I wish I could hear that argument and be the referee.  But God chose for that not to be the case.  And so our family is not quite complete for Christmas here on earth, but someday we will be complete again in Heaven, of that I have no doubt.

My tears on this Christmas Eve are tears of selfishness.  I realize this.  I know where Titus Levi is and I wouldn't bring him back if I could.  It is simply the memories that I feel I will lose out on that sometimes gets to me.  While I was shedding a tear earlier tonight of happiness when I saw Tucker's face as the wrapping paper his mother carefully placed on the gift revealed the surprise and gratitude on his face.  I now shed a selfish tear wishing Titus was running around here making a mess and eating peanut butter balls all the while knowing he is in the presence of our Creator in a perfect environment glorifying our God.

Friends, may you have a wonderful Christmas.  Celebrate with family and loved ones.  Honor our Lord with the true meaning.  But take a moment to treasure the memories you are making now.  And remember those who may not have the opportunity to make special memories again with a prayer of comfort and peace.

God bless you.  Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.